She's asking for too much

I've repeatedly asked her to consider going before 1 attorney or 1 mediator to work out our divorce and custody. Her attorney, W. Allen Vaughn, has her convinced that with her retainer of $2,000, he will have the case resolved and she can not lose what she's asking for. I'm intimidated. God willing, the courts will provide justice and Kolin will be given fair treatment and both of us time with our son. We both have many strengths and weaknesses. In the state of Oklahoma, it is common for the mother to gain custody unless the father can prove her unfit. Asking 50% physical custody and no child support -- fair? She's asking for joint care custody plus child support. In addition, she's asking for exclusive possession of our house during the trial. Life is testing my ability to withstand the storm. I am strong!

I have been seeking the advice of various attorneys, friends, family and divorce / custody related websites. I have a lot of work ahead of me and I'm feeling more overwhelmed than ever. I've never been able to ask anyone [with the exception of my Mom]for assistance with anything! I take pride in that and it's hard for me to ask friends / family for money. I have 2 attorneys I'm interviewing and will decide on one of them. Now -- how do I come up with $3,500? If I get another job, I lose time with Kolin. I can't sell my personal belongings. I continue to send out resumes but it's so hard for me to focus during interviews.

It's hard enough to face the reality of losing who you thought was your soul mate. Now I'm facing the potential loss of all that we've built together and my son. It tears me up inside. I could potentially spend thou$ands and lose it all. I wish we could turn back the clock and do things differently.

I still wear my ring and I tell her I love her every day. I made a vow before God.

I'm going to do something 'odd' and uncharacteristic of myself. I'm going to add a link for anyone who wishes to donate money to my cause. Any help is greatly appreciated. If there's anything I can do to help you, let me know -- I'll see what I can do.

God bless to all and continue to keep us in your prayers!