A hint of hope
Last week, her lawyer asked her for an additional $1000 as her original $2k retainer has been depleted. Since then, she has requested we get together to discuss what we agree upon outside of the courts. Tonight, she finally made a little time for us. [It was great to see her, still looking as great as ever] Didn't take much to determine we don't agree. She agrees with 50/50 joint custody of Kolin but only if she is not required to pay child support. She doesn't agree that the monies we borrowed to live on while I attended school is a shared debt. She believes my 401k obtained prior to our marriage is fair game. I honestly do not know the written law but my attorney has convinced me we will be successful in our pursuit for 50/50 in all aspects: custody, division of properties and debts.
Who knows? I question the pursuit for justice. Are we not spending every last dime of equity we have built in 7 years to try and 'prove' the other wrong. What will the future hold? I'm confident it will take me just as long to recover from the financial burden of our divorce as it will me to move beyond the strong feelings I have for her.
A hint of hope had me thrilled. It was quickly deflated when I began asking questions about Jeff. Further, it was more important for her to go out on a date with him than it was to spend the last evening with our son Kolin before we vacation. I still wonder what it would take to make her happy. If I could ever satisfy her every need like I did in the past. There's been so much said, we've done so much to one another. Even still, I would not hesitate to give it one more try. I think it would be for the greater good for our son, our family and perhaps, sanity. Would she ever be at minimum content with just us again.
I'm thankful to be getting away from 'home.' It's difficult without Charlin going but it's a much needed break from the workload, focus on preparation of our divorce and so much more. I hope to regain and strengthen my focus on everything that I face. I pray God leads me in the right direction and allows increase in all I do. Perhaps I'll write during vacation. Regardless, have a great week.