Happy New Year

Quite simple for some. It's been extremely difficult for me. We just got our annual raise - 2% and I've gained 40 pounds over the past year. To be happy? What's that going to take? I have the daily stresses of most people. I live paycheck to paycheck and often have to borrow money for a short period from mom. I hate to ask or borrow for me. I'm in so much debt at this point. So, my specific goals are this. Focus on seeking a better primary job and seek an add'l secondary job [part-time] to pay on bills owed. Simple enough but then when does family time occur? I don't want to miss a moment of my son's life not to mention another due in April. Hmmm, so much to think about. I need to quit thinking and start doing. I'm big at procrastinating which leads to laziness and gaining weight. Before having a child, I couldn't understand how the husband gains weight too. Quite simple, she eats what she wants, when she wants it and you follow suit. Not to mention, she gets tired faster than ever before and you sit, lay and nap more often. Ok, enough mumbling.

Last year, my wife and I were separated and I was the one who was quite depressed. Early December, I visited the doctor and weighed in at 199. He questioned why I had lost so much weight over a short period of time. Simple -- depression lead to drinking and eating less. I was always running so I wouldn't have to think about her. I was so depressed over her -- or so I thought. She's now back and since learning of our newly expected son, I've gained 40+ pounds. I once reached 249 and I vowed never to weight that much again. It's quickly approaching and today I bought a pair of 38 X 32s. About a year ago, I gave away all my size 38 waist jeans and slacks. I'm not going to buy another pair of 38s! It used to be so much easier to lose weight. 34 isn't old and I have much to be fit for -- 2 boys! Enough complaining -- I'll do something about it. Within the coming months, I hope to report my progress and share what I've changed in my habits. Without the holiday hoopla and junk food, I should have a bit of an advantage.

Be happy!? How does one obtain happiness? The last time I can truly remember being happy was 1999. I made a respectable income, had great benefits, bought a house, got married, went on honeymoon and we were financially comfortable. I had $0 debt and if I had less than $1k in the bank -- that's when I felt broke. I was setting a healthy amount of my income into my 401k and yet we still managed to travel, shop and do everything we wanted to. In December of that year, I lost my job and things began to deteriorate. The only thing I can say I gained from that experience is the importance of friends and family. I rarely took the time to stop and smell the roses, attend church or to see how my friends were doing. I now have more time. Although my spiritual can always improve, I've grown leaps and bounds since then. God plays an important role in our lives and we pray daily. Deep down, I'd almost do anything just to make a respectable income again. I'm not asking for 6-figures. Just something to provide for me and my growing family. To ensure I raise Kolin and Kyler in the best environment. I don't like the neighborhood we live in now and know my wife deserves better. I want a newer vehicle, to update my wardrobe and toys, to allow Charlin to shop more and just to be able to GIVE to others who are in need. I'm extremely thankful for those who have helped me during my times of need. I hope to one day repay them 10-fold. For now, I need to simply determine what make me, G2 happy. No matter where you are or what you're doing, make sure you're doing it for all the right reasons. I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this but I want to find happiness. I've been told time and time again it's not money that makes you happy. Perhaps not but when I made it, it felt great. Next time, pride will not take me down. Enough for the time being. I'll leave you with this...

New career, begin serious exercise program and seek happiness. Good luck in all you do and Happy New Year!